10 Comments

The last time I heard an old man raving about people kidnapping and eating household pets, he was carted off to the State Hospital.

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author

Thanks for reminding me — how is Dan Patrick doing?

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founding

I am thankful for the strong of stomach persons like yourself who subject themselves to the entire debate so that I may enjoy the highlights and lowlights. I am old enough to remember when presidential candidates did not mention anyone eating canine or feline flesh.

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Excellent, as always, but in item #6 you left out “shameless scumbags” …

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author

You may be right. I was trying to be faithful to the original (and brilliant) enumeration in "Blazing Saddles."

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When watching the debate I thought I heard trump say that immigrants were eating dogs, cats and "parrots" (instead of pets). Of course I was shocked. What was next I wondered? Parakeets, cockatiels, finches, macaws? And why stop there? What about the fish tanks? Immigrants gulping down guppies, gourami, tetras and angelfish? They'll empty out the pet population of Springfield, Ohio, then on to Dayton, Columbus. We all know that the immigrants breed like rabbits; oh, which they eat as well. How can we stop this scourge from gorging on our precious others? Only one man stands in the way of this pet chewing pestilence. A man of convictions, about 34 or so. A man who, when he stands, has two additional inches of elevation from which to survey the vast problems we face. A man who doesn't let the wind blow his thoughts every whichaway, the thoughts that seep up beneath and affix his golden-maned crown. This is the man we need to support. Before he needs a walker and can do it himself. I would utter his name but you know it. I only let such a pronouncement leave my lips when I hit my thumb with a hammer or my toe strikes the side table. Or, I see him on TV.

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author

You are right. In a world where immigrants can kidnap and consume dogs and cats and, yes, even parrots — there is as much evidence for the seizure of parrots as that of cats — what limits are there and who will save us?

The great Texas Senator John Cornyn memorably tried to save us from marriage-minded box turtles. Maybe he can lead a crusade to keep them off the menu in immigrant households.

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"Trump referred to the leader of the Taliban as ‘Abdul,’ encapsulating his racism, laziness, lack of attention to detail, and ignorance in a single word."

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author

What a marvelous quote! Who said it?

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Lyle Fass on Threads

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