Kamala Harris Selects [FILL IN THE BLANK] As Her Veep

It doesn’t matter who Harris selects – the Party will unite behind her choice and the GOP will roundly criticize it. Those are only the first rapids on the float trip to November.

Welcome to another installment of Life Its Ownself. I offer insight, analysis and context on Texas and national politics, as well as entertaining stories of life its ownself in the Lone Star State. If you like what you read, please 1) smash the Like button at the bottom of this installment, 2) subscribe to this newsletter, and 3) tell your 1,000 best friends to read and subscribe. Also, feel free to comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

---

Tuesday, August 6, 2024

A Note to My Readers:

         Thank you for the get-well cards and fruit baskets I received as my laptop – I do not have a catchy name for it; any suggestions? – convalesced last week.

         What happened to it, you may ask? A decent respect for the opinions of mankind requires me to share this story.

         Some time ago, my laptop told me that its battery was dying, slowly but irrevocably. Unsophisticated as I am about the underlying technology of our modern conveniences, I did not react with the alarm I should have, reasoning that I always used the laptop when it was plugged into a power source and thus was not reliant on its battery power.

         It turns out that laptops, even if plugged in, switch over to the battery from time to time, if for nothing else than to confirm the availability of alternate power. Eventually the battery petered out and the laptop would die whenever it made that switchover.

It was possible for the laptop to operate when connected to a power source, but only briefly and erratically.

         Unfortunately, this calamity matured while I was at my Fortress of Groovitude in West Texas. Because it was an Apple product, I had to wait until my return to Austin to take it to the Genius Bar and get the battery replaced. This happened in due time, and the period from discovery of the problem until I got my newly-vitalized laptop spanned two and a half weeks.

         During that time, using the age-old wisdom of the native tribes of the Chihuahuan desert, I was able publish two newsletters, although I am still pulling cactus thorns from my fingertips.

         All’s well that ends well, as they say, and I am grateful to you, my readers, for your patience and support while I overcame this most solvable of problems.

---

         Probably by the time you read this, we’ll all know that presumptive Democratic nominee Kamala Harris has selected [INSERT NAME HERE] as her running mate. In her speech / press release / campaign video announcing her choice, Harris extolled his youth / experience / boldness / moderation / Fill in the blank here.  

         Democrats by and large praised Harris’s pick and instantly fell in line behind her, guaranteeing a unified and enthusiastic convention next week in Chicago. A few malcontents noted that Harris could have selected [INSERT NAME HERE] because he would have [INSERT DEMOCRATIC GRUMBLING HERE], but no one listened because the Democrats smell a winner and, as God is their witness, they do not want to fuck it up this time.

         The Trump campaign and the GOP instantly pounced on the Democratic V.P. selection, arguing that he was too liberal and elitist for the American people, but no one except the most MAGA-fied faithful took them seriously.

---

         I was able to write the paragraphs above without the benefit of knowing who the Dems’ Veep choice was. That’s because, absent some choice that none of us anticipated – RFK Jr. the Bear Killer, for instance – Harris will select from a small and unobjectionable short list that contains the five people I included in last week’s poll. By the way, thanks to all who participated. Here are the results:

POLL

Who should be Kamala Haris's VP selection?

Andy Bashear (KY Gov)

7%

Roy Cooper (NC Gov)

10%

Mark Kelly (AZ Sen)

52%

Josh Shapiro (PA Gov)

28%

Tim Walz (MN Gov)

3%

29 VOTES · POLL CLOSED

---

         The poll did not include Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg or Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker, both of whom generated some buzz in the veepstakes. Also left out of the poll was Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, on the grounds that Harris would be unlikely to name a woman as her running mate.

         And this is important – whomever Harris selects will be enthusiastically embraced by the Democratic establishment and the party faithful. This bodes well for the convention starting next Monday in Chicago.

---

         So, congratulations to the Dems’ Veep choice. Let’s hope he has a smoother first couple weeks than National Punch Line and Cat Lady Tormentor J.D. Vance, whose rollout has been truly painful.