I Want a New Plane Too!
The Qataris have given the president a $400 million “Palace in the Sky,” and there is nothing suspicious about that. So I want my own plane. Foreign governments, are you listening?
Welcome to another installment of Life Its Ownself. If you like what you read, please 1) hit the Like button at the bottom of this installment, 2) subscribe to this newsletter, and 3) tell your 1,000 best friends to read and subscribe. Also, feel free to comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
But first, your moment of Zen … The “Palace in the Sky” Boeing superjetliner that the Qatari government has given to Donald Trump.
Tuesday, May 13, 2025
Quote of the Day:
“No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.”
United States Constitution, Article I, Section 9
The Emoluments Clause, as it is known, is right there in the Constitution. It was not sneaked into the text; it was not added as an amendment later. And, for 45 of this nation’s 47 Presidents, it has represented a clear constitutional command: the President is not in office to enrich himself, especially by accepting gifts from foreign nations or potetntates.
May, 1921 – The British government offers U.S. President Warren G. Harding a Sopwith Camel, sweetening the deal by having famous WWI pilot “The Flying Ace” pilot it across the Atlantic and land it on the National Mall. Although Harding would be known to history as one of America’s worst and most corrupt president, he has the good sense to send the Flying Ace ad the Sopwith Camel packing.
May, 1973 – The Chinese government, thrilled it had been welcomed back into the family of nations after Richard Nixon’s trip to China, offers the newly-reelected President a Shanghai Y-10, a cheap copy of the Boeing 707-320C. The darkness and corruption at the heart of his administration were already exposed by the Watergate reporting of Woodward and Bernstrein. It would force him to resign in less than 18 months, the first president ever to do so. Still, Nixon declined the gift.
May, 2025 – The Qatari government, understanding the character of President Donald Trump better than his own countrymen do, offers him a custom-built superliner valued at $400 million – a “palace in the sky – for his exclusive use while President, and for it to be donated to the “Trump Presidential Library” ™ after he has left office in 2029, once again, for his exclusive use. It’s not a shabby “gift.”
Ever cautious about the appearance of impropriety, the president asks his Attorney General for her opinion on the ethics of the transaction. Pam Bondi, who previously received $115,000 a month as a lobbyist for Qatar, could find no ethical problems with the transaction.
Trump, when asked about the “gift” in a press conference, offered the following well-reasoned explanation:
“You are ABC fake news, right?! Let me tell you, you should be embarrassed asking that question. They are giving us a free jet. I could say no, don’t give us, I want to pay you a billion or $400 million or whatever it is. Or I can say thank you very much.”
The president went on to reference golfing legend Sam Snead, saying that “he had a motto” about how golfers should just say thank you and “pick up your ball and walk to the next hole” whenever someone “gives you a putt.”
“A lot of people are stupid and say no, I insist on putting, and they miss it and their partner gets angry at them. Remember that. Sam Snead, when they give you a putt, you walk to the next hole and say thank you very much.”
“It’s not a gift to me, but a gift to the Department of Defense. You should know better. You have been embarrassed enough. ABC is a disaster.”
As a donor, of course, the government of Qatar is above suspicion. Conservative writer Charlie Sykes brings the receipts:
Putting aside the ties to terrorism and the fact that it is essentially an Islamist slave state, Qatari officials have:
- Been caught openly bribing politicians, including US Senator Robert Menendez
- Spent over $6 billion on funding extremism at US universities. By far the most of any country in the last several decades
- Regularly funded trips for US AGs and other officials
- have an extensive lobbying network that significantly exceeds that, outside of China, might be the most aggressive in the US
- control a large global news network that serves as a propaganda arm for terrorism and is thus banned in several key Arab state
- invested heavily in US media outlets and been caught buying up US influencers
Qatar also has ties to terrorism. In 2023, The Foundation for Defense of Democracies published: 10 Things to Know About Hamas and Qatar.
Qatar has enabled the terrorist organization Hamas politically and financially for decades. However, the tiny Gulf Arab state has successfully positioned itself as the lead negotiator in the Hamas-Israel war despite its lack of neutrality and ongoing support for terrorism. In fact, Doha hosts key members of Hamas’s senior leadership and has given an estimated $1.8 billion to Gaza’s Hamas-run government.
Qatar and state-sponsored terrorism:
Qatar has been accused of allowing terror financiers to operate within its borders, which has been one of the justifications for the Qatar diplomatic crisis that started in 2017 and ended in 2021. In 2014, David S. Cohen, then United States Under Secretary of the Treasury for Terrorism and Financial Intelligence, accused Qatari authorities of allowing financiers who were on international blacklists to live freely in the country: "There are U.S.- and UN-designated terrorist financiers in Qatar that have not been acted against under Qatari law." Accusations come from a wide variety of sources including intelligence reports, government officials, and journalists
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Which brings me to my point. Loyal Readers of this newsletter know that I split my time between the bustling city of Austin, which I once bestrode like a Colossus, and the majestic high desert of the Texas Trans-Pecos region. The commute between the two places is by now second nature to me: leaving Austin, I climb into the golden topography of the Hill Country, passing the vineyards of Fredericksburg on my way to the ranching and hunting country of the western Hill Country before crossing the Pecos River and emerging into the magnificent Chihuahuan desert, with its rugged mountains and hardscrabble countryside.
As lovely as it is, by now I can almost make the trip on “autopilot.” That is why I am openly soliciting a foreign government to provide me with a plane, to be at my disposal. Of course, a pilot, ground crew and lifetime supply of aviation fuel will also have to be included.
A foreign government may ask, “Why would we give a plane to someone who cannot benefit us in any way?” And that’s the point: there can be no suspicion of impropriety when the beneficiary – that’s me – has so little to offer to the donor – that’s you. This is especially so is if said foreign government has recently made a gift to a government official so spectacularly corrupt that the transaction is suspect, no matter the protestations of the foreign government. Are you listening, Qatari government?
I realize that my résumé and current circumstances put me beyond the reach of even the most corrupt foreign government, no matter how small. Are you listening, El Salvador?
And so, I expand my request to the titans of the private sector – Big Oil, Big Tech, Big Pharma, even Big Sports. Think of the goodwill you could accumulate by letting it be known that you have provided a humble Substack writer from Texas with his own airplane and crew with no expectation of anything in retrun! Why, the $10 million Super Bowl commercials write themselves!
I have already checked with that paragon of virtue, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, and received his assurance that he does not know how to practice law and therefore has no objection to my proposed arrangement.
If that gives you comfort, God help you.
Don't forget the joy you would bring to the denizens of the desert who will be called upon to build the new Marathon regional (international?) airport. Surely, you could come up with an appropriate name for such a facility.
Much like Paul Bunyan, his BFF Babe, and his Axe, who he called George, was once a part of the great origination folklore of this country. Now leaps in YOU, The Bestrider of the Nation, a man who is not simply vast, but one who must take his place in the pantheon of mythical American gods. Though it's important to note that Mr. Bunyan, was eventually convicted of tree clearing without a license, (Minnesota vs Paul Bunyan), and Babe had him institutionalized, (though those documents are sealed), You Sir, the Great Bestrider, deserve a Qatari thirteen year old Boeing 747-8. May your contrails fill the skies.