How To Survive Tonight’s Debate
Many adjectives could describe tonight’s debate – unprecedented, historic, consequential, high-stakes – but the most accurate may well be “weird.”
Welcome to a pre-debate edition of Life Its Ownself. I will follow up tomorrow with my usual trenchant analysis and piercing insight of The Debate That Either Did or Didn’t Change the Trajectory of the Race. Be sure to tune in!
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Thursday, June 27, 2024
Tonight, in a duel of wits the likes of which have not been seen since the Roadrunner tricked Wile E. Coyote (again) into running off a cliff, the current and immediate past presidents of the United States will meet for their first – and quite possibly last – debate of this election season.
THE DEETS
When: Tonight (Thursday, June 27, at 8:00 p.m. CDT)
Where: Atlanta, Georgia. Watch it on CNN, CNN International, CNN en Español and CNN Max. It will stream on CNN.com for people without a cable subscription. Also, several networks have indicated they will carry it.
Who: Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Jake Tapper and Dana Bash, all trapped in a 10’ by 10’ steel cage. RFK, Jr., will be waiting in the wings in case any of the four wants him to tag in.
How: 90 minutes, with two commercial breaks.
Why: Who the hell knows?
This debate will have many historic “firsts:”
· The first time two presidents have debated each other.
· The two oldest people to participate in a presidential debate. (FUN FACT: they were also the two oldest when they debated in 2020.)
· The earliest that a presidential debate has been held – 131 days before the election.
· The first time a candidate’s mic will be muted when he is not supposed to be talking. Possibly, a real game-changer.
The reason it might be the last is both candidates have clear goals for the debate, and whether they reach them may determine their future tactics going forward. And both goals deal with the same thing: can Biden look strong, focused and, well, presidential?
Biden wants to get through the debate with no mental lapses and, secondarily, wants Trump to be outrageous – yelling at the moderators, telling more lies, dumping out more of his increasingly frequent, incomprehensible word salads.
Trump wants Biden to freeze up a la Mitch McConnell, or forget the name of the French president, and, secondarily, for himself not to create any more “shark battery” or “luxuriant hair-water-rain” memes on the one night people are paying attention.
What Are the Expectations for Tonight?
The expectations are pretty low. Alert Readers may recall that the first debate between Biden and Trump in 2020 produced the following synopses from tonight’s moderators:
If the debate surpasses that standard, we’ll all be happy. There are many – certainly on the Democratic side, but also on the GOP side – who want tonight’s debate to have some of that chaotic flavor. Some of the MAGA faithful want to see Trump all fiery and brimstone-y, ignoring the rules and being the Disrupter they love. The Democrats won’t say so, but they would love to see a Trumpian meltdown. The Substacker Chris Cillizza has even suggested that the Biden camp needs a game plan for pissing Trump off.
What Happens If Something Happens?
There are two broad trains of thought about the early timing of tonight’s debate. If either candidate screws up, that will either be burned irreparably into voters’ minds come November, or voters will have forgotten about it by July 4th.
How to Survive the Debate
1. Hydrate. Be sure and stay hydrated to preserve your health and sanity. Here in Austin and in most of the civilized world, it’s too damn hot to watch a presidential debate without drinking a lot of water. In fact, it’s too damn hot to do anything without drinking a lot of water.
2. Debate Bingo. Download one of the Debate Bingo cards USA Today published today.
3. Drinking games. Since the format is new and untested, I expect both candidates will test its boundaries. Get your favorite beverage and take a shot:
· Anytime a participant attempts to speak past their allotted time
· Anytime a participant attempts to shout over a muted microphone
· If either participant leaves their podium (remember how Trump stalked Hillary in 2016)
· If either participant walks off stage
Looking presidential isn't Joe's problem. It's looking Old Presidential. He could take that honey baked flim flam man in every way but a Quarter-Pounder eating contest. But I can't watch it. I'll get sick to my stomach. I'll have to get the after vomit report from you. I do look forward to that, as now, with Texas to the World not Substacking anymore, you're got the whole world in your hands. And thank the Lord you're still hanging in there. Good luck tonight and keep the bucket close.
Couldn’t we just watch the monkey Cam at the San Antonio Zoo as they fling feces at each other? Wouldn’t that accomplish the same thing? But I agree with g Wilson in my inability to watch this mishigas. I’ll have to depend on your summary to tell me how President Biden did.