Everybody Wants to Be Resurrected, But No One Wants to Die.

Plus, Jaimee Harris, Rebirth and Resurrection

(Welcome to another installment of Life Its Ownself. If you enjoy reading it, please let me know by 1) hitting the Like button at the bottom, 2) subscribing to this newsletter, and 3) recommending it to others. Also, feel free to comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts.)

         Having just finished the Triduum (“three days”) from Holy Thursday evening to Easter Sunday, I’ve still got those all-powerful themes of suffering, death and resurrection on my mind.

         We often view Jesus’ journey through those three days – His arrest in the Garden, His beating and humiliation, His condemnation by Pilate, the torturous Via Dolorosa, the agony of the crucifixion and His slow, lingering death on the Cross – through the lens of our hindsight and His divinity, as if He knew all along that everything would turn out OK. But Jesus couldn’t know that all would be well; He had to have faith, and to renew that faith at each step along the Way. Otherwise, the whole “God sent His only Son to die for our sins” was only, as we would call it now, performative.

GOD:         Hey, Chuy, I have a mission for you down on Earth.

JESUS:        Cool, Dad. What do you need?

GOD:         Well, I need you to go and teach people about My love and forgiveness. And die for their sins.

JESUS:        Sure … wait, what?

GOD:         Yeah, you have to die. And, tbh, it will be a cruel, agonizing and prolonged death.

JESUS:        …

GOD:         But don’t worry. You’ll rise from the dead after three days, and your story will become a transformative event in human history.

JESUS:        Oh, well, in that case, I’m happy to do it. When do I leave?

GOD:         In December. I’m setting it up now.

         For me, doubt and faith are the keys to the whole mystery. The Gospels, written as hagiography a half century or more later, underplay them. Jesus becomes the magician’s assistant who gets sawn in half but – abracadabra! – is still in one piece. But it’s meaningless if He knows all along how it would turn out. (For me, the book that most expresses this dilemma is Nikos Kazantzakis’s The Last Temptation of Christ, which was made into an unfortunate movie a few years ago.)

         In the moments of tragedy and suffering in our own lives – catastrophic injury or illness, the death of a loved one, the loss of joy and hope through life’s inevitable reversals of fortune – faith becomes the one indispensable virtue. There are no guarantees things will turn out – but then it wouldn’t be faith, would it? Powering through the darkness and uncertainty in the hope of a brighter tomorrow.

Jaimee Harris and Her Poetry of Resurrection

         Speaking of powering through darkness and uncertainty, I want to share this heartbreaking and exquisite song from Jaimee Harris. Jaimee grew up outside of Waco and dazzled the Austin music scene before moving to Nashville. Her debut album, Red Rescue, was on everyone’s list of BestAmericana Albums when it came out in 2018.

         I love every song on the album, but the most spiritually profound and inspiring song is “Snow White Knuckles,” her story of redemption and rebirth. Give it a listen or two; the lyrics are below.

“Snow White Knuckles”

Jaimee Harris

Well, I never thought I'd find God here
Full of nicotine and caffeine, shaking with fear 
Just praying for another day to stay in the clear 
I never thought I'd find God here

I never thought I'd draw a sober breath 
I always thought I'd be a wreck
Always figured I'd have nothing left
Well, I never thought I'd draw a sober breath

         But I gave up the cocaine, gave up the gin 
         Freed myself of the hell I was in
         Asked the Lord to keep me clean again
         And the Spirit came and picked me up 
         Kissed me on the cheek and wished me luck 
         Told me I could call him a good friend
         My good friend

Well, I never thought that I'd move on
Oh, but I'm getting used to sleeping alone 
Just one flashlight and the Book of John 
Well, I never thought that I'd move on

         But I gave up the heartbreak, gave up the man 
         Freed myself of the hell I was in
         Asked the Lord to let me love again
         And the Spirit came and picked me up
         Kissed me on the cheek and wished me luck 
         Told me I could call him a good friend
         My good friend

Well, I never thought I could be free 
After all those nights in the D.O.C.
I'm thankful God's forgiven me 
Cause I never thought I could be free

         But I gave up the cocaine, gave up the gin 
         Freed myself of the hell I was in
         Asked the Lord to keep me clean again
         And the Spirit came and picked me up 
         Kissed me on the cheek and wished me luck 
         Told me I could call him a good friend
         My good friend