Bored of Peace? Join the Board of Peace

Donald Trump is building his own United Nations, You, too, can get in on the ground floor!

Welcome to another installment of Life Its Ownself. If you like what you read, please 1) hit the Like button at the bottom of this installment, 2) subscribe to this newsletter, and 3) tell your 1,000 best friends to read and subscribe. Also, feel free to comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

---

Sunday, February 1, 2026

The news – even the lamestream media, and the sooner we’re done with them, the better – has been filled with stories of the new Board of Peace established by our President, Donald J. Trump. (Motto: “Thank you for your attention to this matter!”)

President Trump, who has been happy to share his exasperation with the United Nations in his usual thoughtful and reflective manner, has decided that the UN is no longer the force for world peace it was originally intended to be. Instead, it has become a hotbed of “wokeness,” internationally promoting stupid ideas like equal rights for women, religious tolerance, and the elimination of disease.

So, with his typical entrepreneurial, self-enriching cleverness, he has created a new and improved United Nations. He even unveiled a logo, which, reliable sources tell me, took a community college graphics student an entire half-hour to design.

Of course, having a flashy logo or putting his name in gold letters on a building is just the beginning of Donald Trump’s genius. With the Board of Peace, Trump is building a new world order from the ground up, with a novel approach.

Forget the suits; start with the pariahs.

The Macrons and Starners and Carneys have not been able to make the world a better place, especially that backstabber Carney who said all those terrible things about the U.S. in Davos. Trump had to tell him, “Canada lives because of the United States. Remember that, Mark, the next time you make your statements.” Trump later withdrew Canada’s invite to join the Board of Peace, leading to the collapse of the Carney government and widespread calls for snap elections.

Instead, Trump recruited some of the world’s worst mugs, pugs and thugs and invited them to join the BoP: Argentina, Belarus, Egypt, Jordan, Hungary, Indonesia, Israel, Kazakhstan, Kosovo, Morocco, Pakistan, Qatar, Turkey, Uzbekistan, Vietnam, Turkey, and Saudi Arabia.

To ensure the good faith participation of these esteemed world leaders, Trump set an entry fee, like you’d pay if you were joining, say, a rundown country club/graveyard in Bedminster, New Jersey. The entry fee is $1 billion dollars USD (payable to “DONALD J. TRUMP SECRET CAYMANS ACCOUNT”). No word yet on an annual fee to retain the membership.

Grift for the Common Man.

Donald Trump is nothing if not a man of the people. That is why I was not surprised when I received my personalized invitation to join the Board of Peace in the mail this week. Here it is:

The $100,000 entry fee is a little rich for my blood, but I am planning to make the sacrifice. After all, if I can support the lifesaving work of the Board of Peace, then my life will finally have achieved some semblance of meaning.

I know my modest life savings will not change the outcome of the occupation redevelopment of Gaza or allow Ukrainians to keep their homeland, but I am proud to be able to do my part.